Baseball can sometimes feel slower than your internet connection when you’re trying to stream the season finale of your favorite show. But just when you think you’ve seen it all, the baseball gods throw a curveball that makes you spill your overpriced stadium beer. The game’s long history is packed with moments so statistically improbable they’d make your high school math teacher question their career choices. Ready for a wild ride through diamond-shaped oddity? Buckle up, sports fans!
8. Fernando Tatis’s Two Grand Slams in One Inning
Picture this: it’s April 23, 1999, and Fernando Tatis is having the kind of inning most players don’t have in their entire careers. He smashed TWO grand slams in a SINGLE inning—both off the same pitcher, poor Chan Ho Park, who was probably contemplating a career change by slam number two.
The Cardinals piled up 11 runs that inning, with Tatis personally responsible for eight of them. They won 12-5, meaning Tatis essentially beat the Dodgers single-handedly while his teammates were along for the ride. This feat remains gloriously alone in MLB history, like that one friend who always has a story that tops everyone else’s.
7. Left-Handed Infielders: Baseball’s Unicorns
Left-handed infielders are about as common as reasonable parking fees at a stadium. These mythical creatures are rare because their natural throwing motion swings them away from first base—adding precious milliseconds that could mean the difference between “out” and “safe” (and between victory and having to listen to talk radio hot takes the next morning).
Since 1950, only four southpaws have braved second base, totaling just five innings combined. Don Mattingly was the last to do this defensive tango in 1983, probably because he lost a bet. More recently, Anthony Rizzo played third base for the Cubs in 2017, looking about as comfortable as a cat in a bathtub. Baseball’s defensive alignments remain stubbornly biased toward righties, making these lefty appearances rarer than a rain-free World Series.
6. Johnny Burnett’s Nine-Hit Game
In 1932, Johnny Burnett apparently decided that hitting was too easy and needed to increase the difficulty setting. During an 18-inning marathon on July 10 (which probably felt like watching all three “Lord of the Rings” movies back-to-back, but with more peanuts), Burnett collected NINE hits in a single game.
His 9-for-11 performance included going 7-for-7 in extra innings alone, temporarily boosting his batting average faster than a TikTok trend goes viral. Somehow, Cleveland still managed to lose this game 18-17 to Philadelphia. Burnett’s record stands untouched nearly a century later, giving little league coaches everywhere an impossibly high standard to torture their players with.
5. Intentional Walks with the Bases Loaded
Remember when your parents told you never to take unnecessary risks? Baseball managers occasionally throw that advice out the dugout window with the strategic equivalent of skydiving without checking your parachute first.
On May 28, 1998, the Diamondbacks’ manager Buck Showalter—with the baseball IQ of a chess grandmaster and the nerves of a bomb disposal expert—intentionally walked Barry Bonds with the bases loaded. Yes, BASES LOADED. This voluntarily gave the Giants a run in the ninth inning (like handing your opponent free points, which is generally considered a bad strategy in most sports). Somehow, this wild gambit worked when the next batter lined out, though Arizona still lost 8-7 (karma remains undefeated).
4. Josh Hamilton Intentional Walk
Lightning struck twice in 2008 when the Rays decided that giving away free runs was suddenly fashionable. They intentionally walked Josh Hamilton with the bases already occupied, despite holding a four-run lead.
Hamilton was in the midst of a season so hot he could’ve melted the ice caps, leading the American League in RBIs. Tampa Bay’s calculated risk proved successful, as they maintained their lead and won the game. This decision continues to baffle baseball purists and delight statistics majors who needed something interesting for their thesis.
3. Randy Johnson and the Exploding Bird
In what must be the most statistically improbable event in sports history (or at least the most likely to be featured on “When Animals Attack: Baseball Edition”), Randy Johnson accidentally vaporized a bird with a fastball during spring training in March 2001.
The Big Unit was warming up his arm, Calvin Murray was at the plate, and one unfortunate feathered friend chose exactly the wrong flight path. Johnson’s upper-90s fastball met the bird in mid-air, creating an explosion of feathers that would make a pillow factory jealous. The odds of this happening are so astronomically low that it’s more likely you’ll win the lottery while being struck by lightning… twice… on your birthday.
2. Unassisted Triple Plays to End the Game
Unassisted triple plays are baseball’s equivalent of finding a parking spot right in front of the concert venue—theoretically possible but so rare you tell everyone when it happens. Just 15 have occurred in MLB history, with only two ending games.
Johnny Neun pulled off this defensive miracle for the Detroit Tigers in 1927, and it took 82 years before Eric Bruntlett repeated it in 2009. These plays require such perfect positioning and timing that they seem more like cosmic alignment than athletic achievement. The opposing team must feel like they’ve just experienced all stages of grief in about three seconds flat.
1. Eric Bruntlett’s Game-Ending Triple Play
Speaking of Bruntlett, his moment of glory came in August 2009 with the Phillies leading the Mets by two runs. New York had runners on first and second with no outs when Jeff Francoeur hit what should have been a promising line drive.
Instead, Bruntlett—playing second base with the defensive timing of an atomic clock—snagged the liner, stepped on second base, and tagged the approaching runner from first faster than you can say “triple play.” The Phillies won 9-7, with Bruntlett’s defensive gem providing a conclusion so stunning it probably violated some unwritten laws of probability. Mets fans, already well-acquainted with heartbreak, added yet another chapter to their collective trauma journal.
